Saturday, May 30, 2009

Ok so it has definitely been a while since i've wrote but here i am back again. 
i find myself stuck between and rock and a hard place... once again.
Im not even worried about sounding whiney because I've been holding this in for a while. It's time to let it go. 
First I find myself, once again, distant from my friends. i know its not all their fault either but i have been trying. First Maggie, i love you dear but i don't know what I need to do to keep you happy. It seems like your always pissed at one thing or another. I know life blows but you can't let every little thing get you down. Secondly Sarah. I know you and Shane broke up and haven't been having the easiest time in the past couple of months, but i am not my brother. So please stop taking all your frustration with him out on me. And i know we argue al ot, but most of the time I'm kidden so don't take everything to heart. I love both of you guys i'm just trying to deal. 
 Next is my mother. I realize we don't talk, and that you don't like who i am or what i do, but you still had me. and i think that entitles you to some financial responsibility. So quit buying 40 inch plasma screen tv's outdoor swimming pools, and new houses and pay some child support for once. you and your new husband both work at a power plant for christ sake don't tell me you don't make enough money to help your children. I see the shit you get shane. 
Lastly is my living situation. I love where i'm at and who i'm with. but i'm being selfish. While i'm happy with my own little adopted family i see my real family struggle evermore. I realize your gone a lot dad, i know your job sucks on hours. but a little less time with your gfs and a little more time at home wont hurt. I don't want to watch the same thing that happened to mom happen to you. And Chase, grow up and take responsibility. your not helping anyone by failing your classes and playing video games non stop. i know your not dumb you just need to get a little motivation, and i hope you get it fast. Shane I know its hard trying to keep dad happy and chase in line,,, trust me i know. but you have to watch your own shit too. we are too far along in our high school career to backslide now. I know your not happy where you are and yes i miss groom to, but really hamas. It's not the smartest idea you've had. So what can i do, stay where i am and watch my family fall apart, is it my responsibilty to keep it together. if not then who is responsible. 
thats about it i feel a little better now

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